


The Trials Of Being A Single Dad And A Supervillain

by SwirlsOfBlueJay



Series: The one where Hela is the boss of everything [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 20:24:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5679553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwirlsOfBlueJay/pseuds/SwirlsOfBlueJay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki has burnt the breakfast. Hela is refusing to get out of bed. The new nanny hasn't arrived yet. And Loki has an important supervillain meeting to attend in five minutes. </p><p>This fic works as a stand alone but is also the sequel to All Hel Breaks Loose: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5162618</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trials Of Being A Single Dad And A Supervillain

“I’m sorry. You’re not what I’m looking for.”

Loki smiles politely as he rejects yet another nanny, sighing once she leaves. This is impossible. It’s been two months! He’s interviewed countless nannies and they’re either so soft that Hela would chew them up and spit them out in an instant, or far too strict for someone of Hela’s cheeky disposition. Loki doesn’t doubt Hela can handle herself, as he did at her age. But he doesn’t want to put her through what he went through. Then there are the undercover shield agents. They’re the most competent of the lot. He has half a mind to allow them to think he doesn’t know, just for the convenience and amusement of having them babysit. They may even be a good source of information and allow for good misdirection on his part. Of course he wouldn’t trust them with Hela though, who knows what experiments they may wish to perform. The truth is he barely trusts anyone with his daughter.

It’s painful to admit, but he trusts Thor. Of course that’s not an option as Thor will be busy fighting him. (Part of him wants to show up to battle and just plant her in Thor’s lap, instructing him to watch her, just to see the look on his face). He also trusts Mara, Hela’s previous nanny. She had been a Godsend. But she had to leave abruptly when her mother had a stroke, resulting in Loki taking Hela with him to work. He had left her at a safe distance from the battle. But Hela wasn’t a wait silently on the sidelines sort of person and it had been a disaster.

Mara had taken early retirement to care for her ailing mother and Loki had sent her off with more than enough for them both to live comfortably. Loki takes care of those who serve him well.

 

*

 

“Hela, you need to get up now!” He calls for the fifth time.

Loki takes another glance at his watch. His meeting with the other supervillains is in five minutes. He’s considering how late he can afford to be; there’s making an entrance and then there’s just being rude. Hela is having one of those days where she absolutely refuses to get out of bed and it has caused him to burn the breakfast. He’s currently working on his second batch of bacon and the new nanny is running late. Loki still has to make sure Hela has enough activity to occupy her that she doesn’t eat the woman alive her first day on the job. It’s taken almost three months to find someone suitable and he definitely doesn’t want to start the process again so soon.   

“Be good,” Loki says sternly before leaving.

“Yes father,” Hela says, voice brimming with faux innocence.

 

*

 

The call comes ten minutes before he’s due to leave. The new nanny won’t be coming back. She’s been offered her dream job and apologises but they need her to start now or never. Loki curses internally. His spelled minions are already at the battlefield, the mindless beings can’t be left unattended too long. He will need to take Hela with him again.

This time he will announce her presence. Hopefully that will improve things. It’s embarrassing, but he has to do what he has to do.

“Hela will be sitting here. No one is to venture into this area. Anyone who does will know the full extent of my wrath.”

Stark is chuckling in amusement. And the widow has an eyebrow raised in a fashion which probably suggests he’s insane for trusting her to not take advantage of his every weakness. He will make certain to deliver both of them grievous payback for their mockery. 

The warning works well enough for those with the power to reason. It does not work so well on The Hulk.

Before Loki knows what’s happening the beast is holding her in his hand. At least Hela isn’t panicking, that would only make the situation worse, in fact she’s peering at The Hulk with curiosity. Loki doesn’t move or make a sound. The best way to get The Hulk to crush her would be for him to see Loki or hear his voice. Instead he sends a pleading glance at Thor. But Stark is already strolling casually up to the beast.

“Hey big guy, what’s up?” Stark asks nonchalantly. The fool, is he trying to get her killed? “I see you’ve found a new playmate, how about you put her down and come back later after you’ve finished smashing all these guys.”

Hulk’s brow furrows and he says very earnestly to Hela, “Smash.”

Hela grins. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”

Hulk nods and puts her down, wandering off smashing every minion in his path. Loki heaves an internal sigh of relief. He doesn’t pummel Stark into the ground. That is as close to a thank you as he will allow.

 

*

 

When the second nanny leaves to pursue her passion for playing bass Loki knows something is up.

“Hela, why are you convincing the nannies to leave?”

“I’m not. They ask me what I want. So it’s only fair I also ask them what they want. I don’t know who gave them the stupid idea that they weren’t capable of doing whatever they wanted to do.”

“Lesser minds told them that. Lesser minds are forever telling people that. But it’s not just that. What else?”

“I’ve decided you shouldn’t be a supervillain anymore.”

“Why? Are you worried about me? You know I’m far more powerful than those I go up against.”

“I’ve just decided. Being a supervillain is bad.”

Loki chuckles. “Since when have you grown a conscience?”  

“Uncle Thor is a superhero. You guys are on opposite sides. You’ll never properly make up that way. And making Thor a supervillain wouldn’t work; he’d be a ridiculous supervillain.”

Oh, this again. He’s beginning to understand that Hela isn’t going to accept that him and Thor are just never going to be friends again.

 

*

 

Loki makes sure the next nanny’s passion is actually being a nanny. Hela convinces her to leave to pursue her own independent nanny business. Thus once again he’s stuck with no one to watch his daughter and another supervillain meeting to go to. He would curse the regularity of the meetings, but he actually understands the need for them. And so he’s at the door of Avengers mansion asking Thor to babysit.

The meeting is terrible. The others have decided to question his status as a supervillain.

“You have done hardly any villainous deeds in the last few months and sometimes just abandon battles you’re winning.” The supper villain (known as such for poisoning peoples’ supper), says.

“I have had personal matters to attend to. I do not have to justify myself to you.”

“You’ve been unable to find childcare. You know we have these things called schools.”

Loki scoffs in derision.

“There has been a suggestion that the real reason is that you’re now working with The Avengers.”

“What nonsense you speak. I fought them just the other day.”  

“We’ve been informed that you aided them in capturing Doom.”

Loki suspects Hela had something to do with the informing.

“I allowed them to help me. He had taken my daughter.”

“Where is he? We must retrieve him.”

“I offered him a deal when he held her. He refused. I will show him no such mercy.”

“You are not doing much to assuage the notion that you’re not working with them.”

Loki kills all of them.

It’s probably not the best denial, but he doesn’t need them. What would be far more dangerous would be allowing them to spread such rumours further. It would be inconvenient if his suppliers of rare ingredients, spells and books, felt too scared to deal with him.

 

*

 

Hela has a cat. He doesn’t know where she got the cat, but he’s not going to send the cat away. So they have a cat living with them now. At some point the cat gets stuck up a tree. Loki is tasked with getting it down.

There are now pictures of Loki rescuing a cat all over the internet.

 

*

 

Loki considers his options carefully. His reputation as a supervillain may seem to be in tatters but it’s nothing he can’t fix, he just needs to stop Hela putting out the bad PR. That will be difficult, he knows how stubborn she is; she gets it from him. He considers feigning a friendship with Thor, but that will only hurt Hela in the long run when she discovers the truth. It may be harsh, but it’s better she understand now that there will be no real friendship between him and Thor, even if it takes much time of obviously forced civility to show her.

“I will make a deal with you. You stop your attempts at sabotage and we can spend some time with Thor once a month.”

“Once a day,” Hela counters.

“Once a fortnight.”

“Once a week.”

“Once a week, no more than four hours at a time.”

“Fine.”  

When Loki takes Hela to visit Thor again, he explains that he thinks it may be best to feign friendship for Hela’s sake. Thor is only too happy to oblige. He doesn’t need to know that Loki intends on no feigning of any kind. Loki hopes once Hela sees their awkwardness it will cease her attempts at sabotaging his supervillain career.

*

“What the Hell are you doing here?” Stark asks and then shrugs and wanders off.

Romanov gives him a small curl of a smile that Loki’s sure means she will kill him as soon as he thinks of letting his guard down. And he’s pretty sure Barton is in the ceiling waiting for him to try something.

Loki agrees to watch a film with Thor, at least this way he won’t have to speak to him.

He’s barely a minute in when he feels the need to comment, “Why are there tentacle porn opening credits?”

Thor guffaws. “Brother, you have come to know Midgard well, already you make references I don’t understand. It is odd I grant you, but do you not find it artistic?”

Loki raises an eyebrow, “No. Oh look they stole the symbol from Hyrda, how original.”

“Well, this James Bond is a very old saga. It’s possible Hydra stole it from them,” Thor says, cracking a smile.

Loki snorts.

“Oh look how they move so dramatically slowly, what suspense.”

“Ah but you don’t understand.” And Loki waits for a boring explanation before Thor continues, “It’s supposed to be terrible.”

Loki finds, in spite of himself, he’s laughing aloud.     

He tries to gain back some semblance of normalcy with an insult, “This Bond is such a dull creature, having to use others for their wits, you must be reminded of yourself Thor.”

Thor just laughs, slapping Loki on the back. It’s infuriating. And yet he’s chuckling too.

“Now this Q I can see enjoying a film of.”

Thor nods. “Perhaps if you behave well Stark will allow you to watch him work.”

Loki growls. But he’s enjoying himself nonetheless.

 

*

 

The film nights continue in a similar manner, with him and Thor bantering on the questionable content. This goes on for weeks. Somewhere along the way as he and Thor watch a film, they find themselves looking at themselves, their relationship.

Thor saying, “Brother, for whatever I have done, I’m sorry.”

And Loki replying, “That’s the entire point Thor. You still don’t know what you’ve done. You still don’t understand.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Will you help me understand?”

Loki sighs. “I will try.”

Somehow they end up bonding, spilling out apologies and secrets and forgiveness and blubbering onto each other like children. The other avengers must’ve weighed in on these film choices. It’s a conspiracy. Loki’s sure.

Yet somehow, reluctantly, he accepts Thor’s friendship. He should’ve known one thousand years was too much to wash out of his bones.

 

*

 

Loki rises at the end of the film to fetch Hela. He knows she’s with Stark because she has already shown up twice with a device of some kind. She’s taken a special shine to Stark and his creations; Hela’s always thrived on learning how to make new things. And even though Loki may be wary of Stark, he is always supportive of her endeavours.

“Wait, where are you going?” Thor asks.

“I’m going to get Hela from the workshop and then we are leaving.”

“Always so quick to leave. Are we not brothers again? Stay a while.”

“Now we no longer have quests to go on I think you’ll find we have little in common.”

“It will be fun, come, sit.”

They chat. It’s awkward. As Loki knew it would be. Hela appears again to show off the device she’s creating with Stark and Loki allows her to lead him back down to the workshop so she can show what they’re doing. He’s is glad for the reprieve.

 

*

 

“I have found activities we can enjoy together!” Thor announces the next time they’re together.

Loki is by now willing to leave Hela with the other avengers. They have accepted her presence, even become fond. He figures he may as well go along with whatever Thor has in mind.

And thus Loki finds himself playing a game called paintball and has to admit it is fun. It plays to both of their strengths. He finds himself grinning wildly at Thor as they manoeuvre through the place.

They return to find Hela shooting arrows into the walls and swinging off them. Loki raises an eyebrow at Clint who shrugs and states,

“She’s a great shot.”

“I’m a magnificent shot,” Hela counters.

Clint nods “True.”

 

*

 

His and Thor’s next outing of a scavenger hunt is a little more perplexing. It is a brilliant game, requiring them to solve complex intellectual clues to journey to the next point. Loki enjoys it immensely. But he can tell Thor is incredibly bored and yet his brother continues beaming at him.

“This activity seems an odd choice for you,” Loki comments.

“Tony Stark suggested that you may enjoy it and that I would likely find it dull as mud,” Thor states grinning.

“And yet you chose it?”

“Often enough you have followed me on journeys which have bored you.”

“True enough.” And changes the subject so they need not dwell on the significance of this, “So does Stark often go on these hunts?”

Thor laughs. “No. He said most of them had clues which were far too easy. This being one of the rare few that was enough of a challenge.”

“I see.” Loki has himself found many intriguing pursuits in Midgard but it has required he find many annoying ones along the way. It occurs to him to seek out what Stark and Banner, fellow intellectuals, enjoy so that he can waste less time on trawling through the trash. Of course he can’t just ask them, but there are other ways to gather information.

They win the scavenger hunt, as expected.

This time they return to find Hela covered in oil stains. It’s a common enough occurrence. She has been spending more and more time in Stark’s workshop, taking things apart, putting them back together.

Loki sighs. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

 

*  

 

Sitting beside Thor, Loki can admit their relationship is greatly improved. The awkwardness is no more. They can just sit here, comfortable in each other’s presence as Loki reads a book and Thor eats peanut butter straight from a jar.

Hela’s spending time with everyone. Loki ponders how they underestimate her, teaching her their skills as though she could do them no harm. She does some hand to hand with Natasha and watches in awe as Bruce shows her some chemical reactions, bubbling and boiling and letting off sparks. But as soon as Stark returns from his board meeting she’s taking him by the hand and dragging him into the workshop again. Stark is clearly amused by this, has clear adoration for his little mentee.

All of them have grown to love Hela. And somehow, their love for her begins to creep over into grudging acceptance of Loki too.

 

*

 

Him and Thor are watching something called blackadder when Hela appears, dragging Stark behind her, until they’re in front of the TV.

“Father! I’m trying to explain why the transporter device is going wrong, but Tony doesn’t understand, come and explain.”

She then drags Stark back towards the workshop. Loki follows. Loki soon discovers the problem. Hela understands enough of Asgardian magic to know why the device is failing but cannot properly translate so it lines up with Midgardian science. Loki helps and the three of them end up spending the afternoon working on the transporter together.

Loki later wonders whether this lack of translation ability is hampering Hela’s learning. After all, she may be a genius, but all her learning so far is Asgardian. It would be a set-back for her to have to start from scratch. As much as Loki doesn’t want to have a conversation with Stark, sometimes fatherhood calls for pride to be swallowed.

He waits until Hela is off teaching Captain America to draw on a 3-dimensional magical plane before approaching Stark.

“I wish to discuss Hela’s studies with you.”

“Huh? What?” Tony replies, mostly incoherent.

“I want to know whether her unfamiliarity with Midgardian science is hampering her progress?”

“What’s happening here? Are we having a conversation? No scratch that. Are we having a parent/teacher type conversation with me as the teacher? I don’t remember getting drunk.”

“Are you surprised that I care about supporting my daughter’s learning?”

“I expected you not to consider our lowly Midgardian stuff learning.”

“If she considers it a subject worthy of her attention, then so do I.”  

“Huh. Well no, nothings being hampered. You know she’s a genius right?”

“I’m aware,” Loki replies. “That doesn’t mean support and assistance isn’t sometimes required. Are there any texts that might help?”

“Nope, not really. She’s already beyond the kiddie books. And any of the adult ones she’ll be able to find somewhere around here. Oh actually, you know what would be good, a translator; Asgardian science to Midgardian science.”

“In Asgard it’s called magic. And there is no such book in existence.”

“Well I guess you’re going to have to write one,” Stark says, grinning.

Loki pinches the bridge of his nose because yes, Loki is one of the only ones in Asgard who would be able to do such a thing. But then he returns Stark’s grin. “You shall have to assist me.”

“What no. Absolutely not. No. I’m not writing a book with you.”

“We need experts in Asgardian magic and Midgardian science both, to ensure the book is accurate.”

“Oh fine,” Stark says, looking far too pleased.

And thus he and Stark begin writing a book together. Loki is doing it solely for his daughter and will deny anyone who claims he’s enjoying himself.   

It takes Stark two weeks to become fed up of the logistics of co-writing around busy schedules and proclaim that Loki and Hela should move into the tower. Loki, clearly taking leave of all senses, agrees.

 

*

 

When Loki goes to wake Hela and finds she isn’t in her room he immediately goes to the workshop. He pauses at the entrance, smiling at the picture they paint. Hela’s asleep in the little fold out bed and Tony asleep at the workbench.

“Morning!” Loki calls loudly. They both startle awake. “Upstairs, it’s time for breakfast.”

“But moooom!” Tony whines. Loki chuckles, lifting Hela out of bed and pulling Tony up by his shirt collar, guiding them out of the workshop, “Come on you two.”

Loki puts a bowl down for Hela’s cat and starts on making some eggs. Tony starts the coffee machine and pours Hela some juice. The smell of food lures the other avengers in and soon they’re all at the table eating and chatting away.

Loki smiles, taking it all in. It is an easy atmosphere. He doesn’t know how it happened. He’s rebuilt his relationship with Thor and somewhere along the way he has become friends with Thor’s comrades also.

Another call comes for the avengers to assemble. Loki waves them off with wishes of luck and tells them to take care. He doesn’t join them of course. He’s still a supervillain. It has been a while since he’s done anything truly villainous. But he’s been busy. He’s a single dad and now he’s found himself writing a book and looking after a gang of superheroes also. He will find some time for villainy soon.

The television is showing the fight live. The avengers are being well and truly trounced.

Loki sighs. “Okay, let’s go help Uncle Thor.”

Hela smiles innocently.


End file.
